The Best Approach to Overcoming Jealousy for Every Personality Type

The Cambridge Dictionary defines jealousy as “a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want.” So, jealousy comes when we compare ourselves with others and treat others better than we treat ourselves. We should ask ourselves: How and why is this jealousy taking place in our lives? According to Ramachandran and Jalal (2017), “the feeling of jealousy is evoked when someone is better off than you.”

Development of Jealousy

Well, I believe these are eye-opening assumptions about how jealousy takes place (or develops) in our lives:

1. When a person has no idea who they are.
2. One is not aware of how different he is from others.
3. One is unaware of the unique qualities (inherent or learned) that other people do not have.

If your answer to the above questions is ‘YES’, you probably perceive yourself as less productive and an unsuccessful person. You compare your worth with others, and it is a primary cause of jealousy in your life.

Jealousy and Health

Jealousy can affect a person’s physical and mental health negatively. Jealousy has a similar effect on the body as stress does. People with a high level of jealousy tend to have more stress and are more likely to get depressed and anxious. Jealousy is not good for human behaviour or health. Jealousy can result in anxiety, melancholy, and a diminished sense of self-worth. It can make a person judge themselves too harshly, which can lead to feelings of shame and guilt. Jealousy can also make a person controlling in their relationships, which can lead to fights or even physical violence. Extreme jealousy can result in severe psychological disorders.

Overcoming Jealousy

Now, if you wish to know how to overcome jealousy, here are some tips you can adopt with practice:

1. Be happy for who you are and accept your natural self as it is without pity. Tell yourself that you are a unique creation and that comparing yourself to others is unjustifiable.
2. Practising self-gratitude in everyday life will help you a lot. For example, you can repeat these positive affirmative dialogues: I am unique, I am discovering my vision, I am wholesome, I am joyful, my life is incredible, I am growing. You can practice positive affirmative self-talk daily.
3. Learning a new hobby will boost your confidence and provide you with active recreational activities to help you pass the time.
4. Remember that success does not imply perfection, and the failure does not imply total failure. You are also OK like everyone else, and you must be kind and respectful towards yourself before you expect the same from others.
5. Do not share your ideas, discussions, and time with people who make you feel like a “person of no importance.” Work to build strong relationships with others who give you a valuable place and time in their lives.
6. Whenever you look at or meet someone more successful or beautiful, always remember that you are unique, and you will get there someday in your life, but the time zone and place will be different, and the area of success may also be different.

I hope you guys find some of these techniques helpful.

This is a repost of an earlier piece I wrote for the Mind-Glass Wellbeing website.

REFERENCE

Cambridge University Press. (n.d.) Jealousy. Cambridge Dictionary. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/jealousy

Ramachandran, V. S., & Jalal, B. (2017). The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy and Jealousy. Frontiers in Psychology. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01619

Thank you.

Psychologist Ashutosh leads seminars and provides online and in-person talks on the issues of drug use in the family, at school, and in the workplace; how to build sustainable self-esteem; happiness; mindfulness; men’s mental health; workplace well-being; a career for the youngest; working with children with special needs; and how to help CWSN. Book a session with Ashutosh.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines jealousy as “a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone that you want.” So, jealousy comes when we compare ourselves with others and treat others better than we treat ourselves. We should…